veiledndarkness | Halloween Masquerade Challenge

Title: Self-Deception

Author: veiledndarkness

Fandom: My Chemical Romance

Pairing: Bert/Gerard

Rating: R

POV: Gerard

Disclaimer: Characters not mine, no harm intended.

Summary:It’s a party, yeah? I was invited...

Author's Notes: For The Halloween Masquerade Challenge on

bert_and_gerard

*

Gerard eyed the growing pile of clothes on the bed, grumbling as he tossed another shirt down. "Too shiny," he mumbled, digging through the closet again. "Gerard! Are you serious?" a voice called from the doorway, eyebrows raised at the sheer mess covering the room.

"I can't find the right outfit," was Gerard's muffled reply.

Frank lifted one long cloak from the bed, snickering. "Y'know, I would suggest vampire, but for the fear of clichés."

Gerard emerged from the closet long enough to give him a dirty look. "Lotta help you are," he said, throwing a striped hat at him.

*

He stood in front of the mirror, carefully applying and then smearing his eyeliner. "This has got to be the best idea for a costume," he said, ignoring the snort beside him.

"Technically, that shouldn't count as a costume," Mikey said, looking him over.

"Oh, fuck off, it does too count," Gerard huffed, capping his eyeliner.

"Could be worse," Frank chimed in. "I bet Ray five bucks that you'd go as Batman."

"Can't," Gerard grinned, running his fingers through his hair messily.

"He went as Batman for three years in a row when we were younger," Mikey rolled his eyes.

*

Gerard looked around the room, a bit dizzy from the amount of caffeine and sugar running through his system. He squinted, seeing a blurry outline that resembled Frank, perched on Bob's lap, speaking into his ear. Bob nodded, smiling slightly.

After a long moment, Gerard pushed away from the wall, the heavy bass in the room overwhelming, the crowd, the heat, the thick smoke in the air. He made his way through the throngs, swaying as he did so, with a silly grin on his face.

He stumbled up the stairs slowly and pushed into the first room he saw. He fumbled for his lighter in his tight pants pocket, pushing a cigarette between his lips. The door opened, someone crashing into the room just as he lit the cigarette.

Gerard frowned, the scent of alcohol heavy in the air. "Oww," the person said softly. He blinked, adjusting his eye mask as he inhaled, the tip of his cigarette gleaming in the darkness.

"Shit...you alright?" he asked, crouching down and lifting the person up. "I'll be fine...just fine," came the reply, a hoarse laugh leaving him as he stood up. Gerard leaned back on the wall, smoking silently. "You sure about that?" he said

The man snickered from behind his mask, the face a parody of a screaming clown. "Jus' need another drink," he drawled. Gerard eyed him. "Think you've had enough."

"Yeah, well you would say that, wouldn't you?" he said, his laughter bitter and harsh. "Fuck you," Gerard said, narrowing his eyes in annoyance. "Do I even know you?"

"You might have," the man said. "Doesn't matter now though, huh?"

"Very funny," Gerard snapped. "I don't know who the fuck you are with that stupid mask on." To his irritation, the man chuckled again, his eyes glinting through the holes in the mask. "Take it off then," Gerard said, moving away from the wall.

The man stepped away from him. "Go back to your friends. Kudos on the eye mask by the way, how very clever," he sneered.

Gerard curled his fingers, his annoyance growing. "Take it off," he said, reaching for him. The moment seemed to stretch on, the music suddenly louder, his breath catching when his fingers ripped the clown mask off, Bert's face looming in front of him, his eyes wary in the darkness.

"You..." he managed to say, cringing inwardly at the fact that his mind had gone blank, words failing him. "Yeah...me," Bert said, taking the cigarette that dangled limply from Gerard's hand. "Surprised to see me?" he added, smirking at the look on Gerard's face.

"What...what the fuck are you doing here?" Gerard said, taking a step back. Bert inhaled on his stolen cigarette. "It’s a party, yeah? I was invited," he murmured.

"Oh..." Gerard said, watching Bert smoke his cigarette. "I gotta say, I'm disappointed you weren't in your skeleton pajamas," Bert said, smirking wider. Gerard glared at him.

"Fuck off," he said reflexively, moving away from him. "Scared, are ya?" Bert chuckled. "You're afraid of being alone with me, huh?"

"I'm not afraid of you," Gerard said, backing up against the wall. Bert blew out a stream of smoke, snorting.

"Sure you are," he said mockingly as he moved closer to him, advancing on him. "I can see it in those damn eyes of yours."

Bert flicked his cigarette on the floor carelessly, blowing another stream of smoke up into the air. "Get away from me," Gerard said roughly, turning his face away from Bert.

"You really sure you want that, hmm?" Bert crooned, palming Gerard's cheek with his hand.

Gerard closed his eyes and bit the inside of his lip, Bert's hard fingers gripping his face. "Yes," he snapped. "Y'know silent treatment only makes me wanna try harder," Bert said, yanking Gerard's eye mask up onto his forehead.

"You can't take a fuckin' hint?" Gerard whispered.

Bert grinned, his eyes widening. "Maybe I'm sick of bein' ignored," he said. "And maybe...maybe you're afraid to admit what you really want."

Gerard kept his eyes closed, his knees weakening when he felt Bert's mouth ghost over his neck, his breath making his skin tingle. "D-Don't," he said. "Get the hell away from me."

"Ask me nicely, and I just might," Bert said, biting down near his collarbone.

Gerard moaned raggedly, struggling to twist away from him. Bert pushed a knee between Gerard's legs, his arm pinning him to the wall. "Well...look at that," he chuckled. "Hard already I see," he rubbed his knee up higher, dragging another groan from Gerard.

"Yeah...you act like you don't care, act like you don't miss it, but I see it," Bert murmured huskily. "Open your pretty eyes."

Gerard pushed against him, opening his eyes angrily. "Much better," Bert said, fisting one hand in Gerard's hair.

Gerard stared at him, fear and loathing and pure hatred rolling off of him, but under that, red-hot lust burned, buried deep inside him. He parted his lips, intent on pushing Bert back. Bert smiled then, a dirty little half-smirk that screamed just how much he knew exactly what Gerard was thinking.

"Fuck it," Gerard breathed. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Bert's, tasting the bitter tang of alcohol, the cigarette he'd stolen, and the grittiness of everything that he remembered from those years slid back into place, as if they'd never been gone. He fisted his hands in Bert's lanky hair, kissing him hard, his teeth nipping, almost biting at his lips.

Bert groaned, kissing him back just as hard, fighting him even as the kiss deepened. Gerard pulled away, gasping for air, blood smeared over his lips. He raised one shaky hand to his mouth, his lips tingling and burning.

"Why..." he shook his head. "Why the fuck can I not just walk away from you?"

"You keep tryin' to get away from what you know is the truth," Bert huffed out a laugh, licking the trickle of blood from his lips.

Gerard's face crumpled, the words cutting right through his layers, his self-deceptions, all the lies he told himself. Bert tugged him flush against his body again, kissing him, harder, marking his mouth. He tilted Gerard's head, biting and kissing his neck, marking his skin.

Gerard shivered, pushing him away. "S-Stop...Stop!" he yelled, breathing erratically.

Bert stumbled back from him, eyes dark and watchful.

"I can't...fuck, I can't keep doing this!" Gerard said painfully. "Just...stop...ok?" He backed away from the wall, tugging his eye mask off his head. Bert grabbed his arm, spinning him back against him, kissing him softly. Gerard made a sound like a whimper, the gentle kiss hurting him more than a slap.

"Go..." Bert whispered against his mouth. Gerard yanked his arm loose and staggered from the room, his eye mask hanging from one fist, his heart aching as he raced down the stairs.

*