Death Sentence
Jun. 1st, 2009 08:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
veiledndarknessTitle: Watching Him 5/?
Author: veiledndarkness
Pairing: Billy/OFC
Rating: R
Summary: She sees everything, she’s watching him fall.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made and no harm intended.
AU follows storyline of movie somewhat.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
XX
It was only for a moment that Billy would allow the reluctant touch of Beth’s hand to his. He made a sound, another of misery and tugged his fingers loose from hers. With a muffled sniff, he turned away as the sun set.
“Billy, I…” Beth flexed her fingers, scarcely able to believe that he had allowed the small gesture.
“Jus’ go,” he grunted. “Place ain’t gonna clean itself.”
She frowned and took a step towards him. “You’re not alone; you don’t need to grieve alone.”
“Christ, you don’t know when t’ quit!” Billy snarled as he turned back to face her. “Get out; get the fuck away from me! I don’t need ya, I don’t need nobody! I got nothin’, now get…the…fuck…out!” he raged at her.
Beth flinched, new tears threatening. “Everybody needs somebody eventually,” she whispered, “Even you.”
Billy fisted one hand and smashed the glass window pane. Beth flinched again, gasping. “D-Don’t…your hand!”
“I don’t need anybody, do you hear me, you numb, fucking cunt? Do you fucking hear me!” he shouted, advancing towards her, blood trickling over his fingers.
Beth covered her mouth with one shaking hand. “I’m sorry,” she backed away from him, “Billy…Sir…”
“Get out,” he hissed. “Jus’ go.”
Beth fled the room, the door slamming shut behind her. She leaned against the wall, muffling her panicked cries with her hand. His eyes…The rage in his eyes…
She took in several shallow breaths, the tears sliding down her cheeks. Through the door, she could hear him, the same shuddery breaths after every visit from Bones. She ached for him, grieved for him in the hallway, away as he’d demanded.
X
The shouts echoed through the bar, the sound of a glass smashing against the wall the next morning. Beth cringed, listening to Billy berate the members of his gang. She stayed back by the kitchen, her heart pounding.
Sammy passed the new glasses to the waitress, loading the tray. “Go easy,” he cautioned her. “Stay low, y’ hear?”
Tammy nodded. “Yessir,” she murmured, walking away from the bar ledge.
Billy paced nearby, rubbing one hand along his smooth scalp. “…No, he was better than you!” he shouted at Bodie, his whole frame shaking.
Beth bit her lip, listening to them snap back and forth. She fidgeted with her apron, ducking out of his sight. He snatched the newspaper off the bar and held it out, a cold, bitter and mocking smile curving his lips.
Tammy walked away from the men, a nervous pull to her face. Beth offered her a small smile from the doorway. Baggy grabbed her elbow, startling her. He pushed the newspaper in front of her.
“This the guy?” he demanded, “The one hangin’ around the buildin's?”
"Yeah," Tammy nodded, Baggy's fingers gripping her elbow a tad too tightly. "Yeah, that's him."
Beth breathed out, her heart skipping a beat. The man in the picture...the father of the boy Joe had killed. She darted a glance to Billy, dread filling her.
"Up, now," Billy stood without looking to the others.
They followed behind him obediently, one by one until the bar was nearly empty again. Sammy shook his head and wiped his hands with a rag cloth.
"S' nothin' but bloodshed, Bethie, an ain't no good ever coming outta vengeance."
"Mr. Business Man oughta run," Tammy slid the tray along the bar. "He oughta run now while he still can."
X
Beth knelt in Billy's bedroom, a thin knife clasped in one hand. She flicked the stray hairs that had escaped from her ponytail back with annoyance, her concentration set on the task before her.
With the blade, she carefully cut away the stripping around the old windowpane, letting the strips of wood and caulking fall to the floor. She wiggled the remaining glass shards loose from the frame, her heart pounding uncomfortably all the while.
She couldn't help the worry, couldn't keep the fear back. Billy Darley wasn't known for patience or understanding, she sighed inwardly. That man, Nick Hume...She stood up and grabbed her broom and swept the shards off to the side with a scowl. On one hand, she raged for the loss of Joe, a boy she'd known since he was barely a teen, and yet, yet she could feel the same helpless rage that Nick Hume must have felt as his son died.
"Now what did those pieces ever do t' you, huh, Bethie girl?"
Beth smiled a little as she swept the shards into the dustpan. "They got in Mr. Darley's way, y' see," she said. "Where you been hidin' Eddie?"
"I'm here, I'm there," Eddie shrugged, "Been workin' with Bones in the chop shop. Told 'im 'bout Joe this mornin'."
"Oh?" she knelt again, wiping a soft cloth along the frame once more.
Eddie crossed the room, his fingers trailing along the scarred dresser top. "Yeah, he don't seem t' care, t' be honest. Never was no father of the year, so it ain't a surprise."
"Bastard," she muttered. She dropped the cloth and picked up the thin glass section from a box nearby. "Joe was his son; you'd think he'd be at least a little upset."
"You'd think," Eddie echoed. "Maybe he does an' he ain't showin' it. Nobody knows wit' the Darley’s."
She slipped the glass piece in with slow, precise movements. Eddie watched over her, nodding in approval. "Billy do that?"
"Uh huh, last night," she sat back, checking the frame.
Eddie passed her the caulking gun. "A reason for it?"
She bit her lip, her hand shaking for a moment. "He was upset with me, and...And well, he'd only just heard about Joe."
"With you? I thought I told ya, rubdowns ain't the best idea. He's only gonna freak out more, Bethie."
She rolled her eyes. "I didn't this time. Ok, so I did come up here, but god damn it, he's human, Eddie! He...it's like he won't let anyone comfort him."
Eddie stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Ya think anyone ever comforted him? He's never gonna understand an' think the way you do, you gotta accept that."
"I only wanted to ease the pain for him," she whispered, her eyes stinging. She blinked and lifted the gun up, filling the frame with steady hands.
"What'd you do?"
Beth wiped the nozzle of the gun off, avoiding Eddie's curious gaze. "I...I held his hand," she mumbled.
"Held...his hand?" Eddie's nearly gray eyebrows rose up in stunned surprise, "Billy, as in, Bones' son, Billy?"
"Yes," she snapped. "An' he let me! At least for a few minutes..."
"I'll be damned..."
Beth gathered the caulking gun, dustpan and broom. "Yeah, I know." She looked over at his unmade bed and sighed aloud. "Eddie...talk to him, would you?"
"Talk? About what exactly?"
"Anything," she set the items over by the door and gathered up Billy's sheets and blanket. "Whatever men say to each other in situations like this."
He snorted and laughed. "Uh huh, yeah ok, Bethie."
"They've been gone for hours," she fussed. "I hate this! God only knows what they're doin' right now."
"Ya don't wanna know, Beth," Eddie said, his face solemn and sad. "Honest."
"Maybe its better that I don't."
X
Beth left the bar in the early evening, grateful for the time off. She walked down the street, her head down as she moved. She held her bag to her side, unnerved by the quiet air around the bar.
The hair on the back of her neck stood up at the sound of familiar tires screeching by. Beth looked back in time to see Billy's car swerve up to the sidewalk, a heavy music beat pounding from the vehicle. She swallowed and tilted her head, peering into the passenger side.
"Sir?"
Billy leaned in, something strange and alert in his face. The look made her want to run, made her want to lean in and comfort him somehow.
He took the cigarette from his mouth, letting it dangle between two fingers on the steering wheel. "Get in."
Beth felt her stomach twist. "I...No, thanks, I don't live that far," she said, taking a step back on the sidewalk.
He slipped his sunglasses off and stared at her. "Get in."
"Honest, I'm fine, Sir."
"Beth," her name sounded foreign on his lips. "Get in. C'mon, I ain't gonna kill ya. Jus' get in."
She approached the car warily and slipped her purse off her arm. She opened the door and slid into the seat, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She snapped the seatbelt on hurriedly. Billy tucked the cigarette back between his lips, tugged his sunglasses back on and roared away from the sidewalk, music blaring still from the c.d. player.
He glanced at her as he drove, his eyes guarded, shielded from her by the sunglasses. Beth picked at the strap of her purse, her stomach twisting and dropping as they made their way across town.
"Sir..."
Billy flicked his cigarette out the window. "Billy," he muttered.
"Pardon?"
He turned a corner, off the main road then. "None o' that 'Sir' shit. Billy's fine."
She blinked. "Uh, ok, Si- um, B-Billy, where are we goin'?"
"Office," Billy pitched the rest of the cigarette in the ashtray, exhaling a plume of smoke near the window. "Know what I mean?"
"Yessir," she said. "I...yes, Billy," she corrected at his annoyed glance.
He grunted and slowed the car, stopping in front of a dilapidated building. Beth looked out the window, her breath catching. She shivered. The building looked haunted.
Billy cut the engine, the music shut off abruptly. Beth undid her seatbelt and got out of the car, clutching her purse in both hands. "Billy, are you real sure you want me here? I..."
He got out of the car, a briefcase in his hand. Beth shivered again. Billy nodded to the stairs. "C'mon," he strode past her, his long legs covering the distance in a few seconds.
Beth bit her lip, following behind him. She went up the cracked cement steps, the metal doors clanging shut behind them. She followed him blindly, their footsteps echoing through the abandoned asylum. The rooms were filthy with disuse, the wood rotting in some areas, the windows cracked and broken in many different panes. She darted a quick glance to his hand, noting the grimy cloth that was knotted around it.
Billy led her up the stairs, each one creaking under the weight of their feet. He stopped in one doorway, muted red light spilling out, dimly illuminating him. Beth kept her eyes on the ground as she moved and gasped when she bumped into him.
"S-sorry."
He turned away, the corners of his mouth lifting the smallest bit in acknowledgement. "S' fine," he gestured to the room. "In here."
Beth stepped into the room. She looked up at the long windows, the red stained glass a marvel of reflective panes. "Oh..." she parted her lips, a breathy sound of surprise.
Billy set the briefcase down on the nearest chair. "Like it?"
"It's beautiful. Eerily beautiful," she murmured. "This is your office, hm?"
"Uh huh," he nodded. He sat down on the other chair and shrugged his long, black coat off. "S' quiet here, no one else, y' know?"
"Yes," she touched one pane, a smear of dust on her thumb. She looked over at him, her stomach flipping anew. She wiped her thumb off on her jeans and walked over to where the chairs were scattered, not far from the altar and pews of the chapel.
Billy opened the suitcase with his good hand. He bit back a cringe, his other hand paining him still. Beth sat on the chair across from him. She set her purse on the ground, watching him with much intrigue.
"You found that?" she asked.
"Y' could say that."
She swallowed the reflexive annoyance. "You mean you stole it."
He pushed his sunglasses off and glared at her. "What's the difference?"
"The fact that you don't see a difference, good Lord," she sat back in the chair, her initial panic fading. "There's a big difference, Billy. Stealing, it's not ok."
"I don't need no lectures, thanks very fucking much," he snapped
Beth opened her purse, pulling out a clean handkerchief. "Calm down, will you? You've already hurt your hand today as it is. Let me see it."
"No!"
She moved off the chair and knelt down near him. She rested her hand to his arm carefully. "Yes, c'mon now, you know I won't hurt you, so there's no reason to freak, right?" she coaxed.
He hesitated, his arm tensed under her light touch. "Yeah..." he said, holding his hand closer, “I guess."
"Right," she undid the knot near his wrist and unraveled the cloth. "Oh Billy," she whispered. "Oh god, I knew I should have cleaned this when it happened!"
Billy uncurled his fingers reluctantly. "It ain't that bad."
She sucked in a breath and looked his hand over. The cuts were mostly shallow, a few deeper ones near the sides of his fingers, the skin around them an angry red. "Shit...I don't have anything with me..." she bit her lip, "Does the building have clean water still running at least?"
"Maybe," Billy shrugged.
Beth let go of his hand and stood up. "Where? Which room?"
"Used t' be a bathroom near the end o' the hallway," he said, his attention on the briefcase once more.
She hurried from the room and walked down the hall, finding the bathroom. She wrinkled her nose at the smell and spun the knobs to the taps. To her relief, cold water came sputtering out. She wet the cloth and wrung it out. Beth took a step back, looking around the room. She spotted a metal pail under one of the sinks and scooped it up, rinsing it out. She refilled the pail with more water and carried it back to the chapel with her, determined to help him no matter what.
X
Billy sifted through the paperwork that was in the briefcase. He opened the leather wallet, flipping through the sleeves with little interest. He counted the bills inside before closing it. He let his eyes shut, bitter tears prickling under his eyelids. He sniffled quietly and swallowed over the lump in his throat.
"Billy?" Beth set the pail on the floor by him. "Let me see your hand."
He opened his eyes, startled. "I said I was fine!"
"And I say you need a good smack upside your head!" she knelt down; her brown eyes alight with indignant anger. "Stop bein' Mr. Tough Guy an' let me see."
Billy's nostrils flared. "You watch y' self...ah fuck!" he swore, the cold water stinging his cuts, "Stop!"
Beth pressed the cloth down firmly. "No. It needs to be cleaned."
"You're pushin' your luck with me," he fumed.
"Pfft, if you wanted to kill me, you would have," she shot back. "Now shut up an' let me do this! I don't even have the proper things to do it all so water will be it for now. Besides, who else is gonna clean an' look after your ass, if not me, huh?"
Billy grumbled under his breath, but he let her tend to him. She washed his hand as best she could before wrapping the wet cloth around the wounds.
"That'll do for now," she said, her thumbs massaging his palm.
Billy tensed up, his eyes guarded. "Shh," she said, keeping the touch light. "It's ok, me an' you here, no one to see this."
He let out the smallest of sighs, his eyes half closed. "I taught 'im everythin'," he said after a moment, his voice catching. "I...didn't do enough. I lost 'im, he's...m' brother an' he's gone. I wanna, I wanna fucking kill that guy, I wanna fuckin' destroy him."
Beth slipped her thumbs further, massaging his wrist. "Billy," she whispered. "I bet you he feels the same way. You took his boy, he took Joe. So where does it end?"
Billy closed his eyes, sniffing harder. "Don't do that, don't..."
"Don't what? Make you see what you did? Billy...you can't be like this forever. You wanna be like Bones someday?"
"I'm nothin' like him! I'm better!"
Beth pressed her lips together. "Not like this, you aren't."
Billy shook his head. "The fuck do you know?"
"I know you're gonna die like this, fightin' for somethin' stupid, something pointless," she moved up his arm slowly, her thumbs tracing the black swirls that decorated his lower arms. His skin was smooth and somewhat pale, a contrast to the black of his tattoos. "I know it's gonna be a waste."
He tugged his arm back. "Don't," he hissed. "I hate it, don't do it!"
"But you'll have sex with any girl into next week so long as she never touches you gently?"
He sneered at her. "Jealous?"
"Hardly," she said, though her face felt warm. "A mindless, empty fuck isn't my style."
"Yeah well once with me is all it takes t' keep 'em comin' back for more."
Beth snorted softly, "Charming."
"Never heard too many complainin'," he tugged his sleeves down further, covering his skin. He grabbed the wallet and opened it again, blinking fast.
"So, what, you're gonna kill this man?" she got up and sat on her chair, letting her hair down from its clasp, "Then what?"
"Kill his fuckin' family," he spat. Tears gleamed in his cold blue eyes for a moment.
Beth inhaled sharply. "And then what?"
"What?"
"And then what?" she pressed. "What happens after you kill them?"
Billy slapped the wallet down with a thud. "Then I have a fucking drink," he drawled.
"And that'll make you happy?"
He frowned. "Who said anythin' about bein' happy?"
"Exactly," she looked to the stained glass window, the dim red surrounding them. "You won't be happy." She shuddered. The room was bathed in blood, she thought vaguely.
"So?"
"So, everything! Don't you get it? This, this revenge will bring you nothing, Billy. Nothing. It won't bring Joe back. It won't make you happy, so why bother?"
Billy closed the briefcase and pushed it off to the side. "Cause I wanna hurt 'im," he said several minutes later. "I don't expect ya t' understand that."
"But you started it," Beth folded her hands on her lap primly. The way he was staring at her, so primal… She bit down on the inside of her cheek, at once frightened and intrigued.
Billy flicked his gaze over her. "He never shoulda touched Joe."
"You did this, you caused this, and all you can think of is how to hurt the man that you hurt first. Jesus, I feel sick," Beth gestured to the room. "Why am I here?"
"I want ya here, that's why. I pay your check, you do as I say," he snapped. "When I say jump, you fuckin' do it."
Beth stood up, knocking the chair back down. "I don't need this job. You can get any slave to do your cleaning, but I'm done, do you hear me? I'm fucking done with you an' the rest of your gang bangers!"
Billy was up before she could blink, looming over her, his eyes sparking with white hot anger. "You ain't leavin', not till I say! You work for me, no one else, understand?" he grabbed her arms, holding her tightly.
"I...I work for who I want," she managed to say, fear and anger flooding her. "You don't own me. Now...Now let me go, B-Billy."
"Not till y' agree to stay," he demanded, tugging her closer against him.
"Let go!" she struggled in his grip. "Get offa me! I'm not yours, I'll never be yours, damn you!"
He swore fluidly, stumbling a bit to the side. "Beth, knock it off!" he shouted.
She tugged her hand loose and slapped him as hard as she could. Billy's head snapped to the side, her handprint outlining his cheek. He stilled, staring at her in stunned silence.
Beth gasped, horrified. "Oh god...Billy, I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."
He swallowed, his skin stinging. Beth raised her hand up, ignoring his flinch. She cupped his cheek gently, stroking the reddened skin.
"Don't..." he choked out, his voice a strained rasp.
"I'm sorry, Billy, I never meant to hit you, I'm so sorry," she whispered, struggling to keep the tears back. "I'm..."
Billy turned his head into the gentle stroke of her fingers, a sound catching in his throat. "Don't..." he said even as he loosened his grip on her other arm, his voice uneven, “I can't..."
Beth held onto him, guilt flooding through her as fast as the simmering anger. He let his eyes drift shut and he leaned down to her, brushing his lips over hers with the lightest of kisses.
X
Author: veiledndarkness
Pairing: Billy/OFC
Rating: R
Summary: She sees everything, she’s watching him fall.
Disclaimer: Not mine, no profit made and no harm intended.
AU follows storyline of movie somewhat.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
XX
It was only for a moment that Billy would allow the reluctant touch of Beth’s hand to his. He made a sound, another of misery and tugged his fingers loose from hers. With a muffled sniff, he turned away as the sun set.
“Billy, I…” Beth flexed her fingers, scarcely able to believe that he had allowed the small gesture.
“Jus’ go,” he grunted. “Place ain’t gonna clean itself.”
She frowned and took a step towards him. “You’re not alone; you don’t need to grieve alone.”
“Christ, you don’t know when t’ quit!” Billy snarled as he turned back to face her. “Get out; get the fuck away from me! I don’t need ya, I don’t need nobody! I got nothin’, now get…the…fuck…out!” he raged at her.
Beth flinched, new tears threatening. “Everybody needs somebody eventually,” she whispered, “Even you.”
Billy fisted one hand and smashed the glass window pane. Beth flinched again, gasping. “D-Don’t…your hand!”
“I don’t need anybody, do you hear me, you numb, fucking cunt? Do you fucking hear me!” he shouted, advancing towards her, blood trickling over his fingers.
Beth covered her mouth with one shaking hand. “I’m sorry,” she backed away from him, “Billy…Sir…”
“Get out,” he hissed. “Jus’ go.”
Beth fled the room, the door slamming shut behind her. She leaned against the wall, muffling her panicked cries with her hand. His eyes…The rage in his eyes…
She took in several shallow breaths, the tears sliding down her cheeks. Through the door, she could hear him, the same shuddery breaths after every visit from Bones. She ached for him, grieved for him in the hallway, away as he’d demanded.
X
The shouts echoed through the bar, the sound of a glass smashing against the wall the next morning. Beth cringed, listening to Billy berate the members of his gang. She stayed back by the kitchen, her heart pounding.
Sammy passed the new glasses to the waitress, loading the tray. “Go easy,” he cautioned her. “Stay low, y’ hear?”
Tammy nodded. “Yessir,” she murmured, walking away from the bar ledge.
Billy paced nearby, rubbing one hand along his smooth scalp. “…No, he was better than you!” he shouted at Bodie, his whole frame shaking.
Beth bit her lip, listening to them snap back and forth. She fidgeted with her apron, ducking out of his sight. He snatched the newspaper off the bar and held it out, a cold, bitter and mocking smile curving his lips.
Tammy walked away from the men, a nervous pull to her face. Beth offered her a small smile from the doorway. Baggy grabbed her elbow, startling her. He pushed the newspaper in front of her.
“This the guy?” he demanded, “The one hangin’ around the buildin's?”
"Yeah," Tammy nodded, Baggy's fingers gripping her elbow a tad too tightly. "Yeah, that's him."
Beth breathed out, her heart skipping a beat. The man in the picture...the father of the boy Joe had killed. She darted a glance to Billy, dread filling her.
"Up, now," Billy stood without looking to the others.
They followed behind him obediently, one by one until the bar was nearly empty again. Sammy shook his head and wiped his hands with a rag cloth.
"S' nothin' but bloodshed, Bethie, an ain't no good ever coming outta vengeance."
"Mr. Business Man oughta run," Tammy slid the tray along the bar. "He oughta run now while he still can."
X
Beth knelt in Billy's bedroom, a thin knife clasped in one hand. She flicked the stray hairs that had escaped from her ponytail back with annoyance, her concentration set on the task before her.
With the blade, she carefully cut away the stripping around the old windowpane, letting the strips of wood and caulking fall to the floor. She wiggled the remaining glass shards loose from the frame, her heart pounding uncomfortably all the while.
She couldn't help the worry, couldn't keep the fear back. Billy Darley wasn't known for patience or understanding, she sighed inwardly. That man, Nick Hume...She stood up and grabbed her broom and swept the shards off to the side with a scowl. On one hand, she raged for the loss of Joe, a boy she'd known since he was barely a teen, and yet, yet she could feel the same helpless rage that Nick Hume must have felt as his son died.
"Now what did those pieces ever do t' you, huh, Bethie girl?"
Beth smiled a little as she swept the shards into the dustpan. "They got in Mr. Darley's way, y' see," she said. "Where you been hidin' Eddie?"
"I'm here, I'm there," Eddie shrugged, "Been workin' with Bones in the chop shop. Told 'im 'bout Joe this mornin'."
"Oh?" she knelt again, wiping a soft cloth along the frame once more.
Eddie crossed the room, his fingers trailing along the scarred dresser top. "Yeah, he don't seem t' care, t' be honest. Never was no father of the year, so it ain't a surprise."
"Bastard," she muttered. She dropped the cloth and picked up the thin glass section from a box nearby. "Joe was his son; you'd think he'd be at least a little upset."
"You'd think," Eddie echoed. "Maybe he does an' he ain't showin' it. Nobody knows wit' the Darley’s."
She slipped the glass piece in with slow, precise movements. Eddie watched over her, nodding in approval. "Billy do that?"
"Uh huh, last night," she sat back, checking the frame.
Eddie passed her the caulking gun. "A reason for it?"
She bit her lip, her hand shaking for a moment. "He was upset with me, and...And well, he'd only just heard about Joe."
"With you? I thought I told ya, rubdowns ain't the best idea. He's only gonna freak out more, Bethie."
She rolled her eyes. "I didn't this time. Ok, so I did come up here, but god damn it, he's human, Eddie! He...it's like he won't let anyone comfort him."
Eddie stroked his beard thoughtfully. "Ya think anyone ever comforted him? He's never gonna understand an' think the way you do, you gotta accept that."
"I only wanted to ease the pain for him," she whispered, her eyes stinging. She blinked and lifted the gun up, filling the frame with steady hands.
"What'd you do?"
Beth wiped the nozzle of the gun off, avoiding Eddie's curious gaze. "I...I held his hand," she mumbled.
"Held...his hand?" Eddie's nearly gray eyebrows rose up in stunned surprise, "Billy, as in, Bones' son, Billy?"
"Yes," she snapped. "An' he let me! At least for a few minutes..."
"I'll be damned..."
Beth gathered the caulking gun, dustpan and broom. "Yeah, I know." She looked over at his unmade bed and sighed aloud. "Eddie...talk to him, would you?"
"Talk? About what exactly?"
"Anything," she set the items over by the door and gathered up Billy's sheets and blanket. "Whatever men say to each other in situations like this."
He snorted and laughed. "Uh huh, yeah ok, Bethie."
"They've been gone for hours," she fussed. "I hate this! God only knows what they're doin' right now."
"Ya don't wanna know, Beth," Eddie said, his face solemn and sad. "Honest."
"Maybe its better that I don't."
X
Beth left the bar in the early evening, grateful for the time off. She walked down the street, her head down as she moved. She held her bag to her side, unnerved by the quiet air around the bar.
The hair on the back of her neck stood up at the sound of familiar tires screeching by. Beth looked back in time to see Billy's car swerve up to the sidewalk, a heavy music beat pounding from the vehicle. She swallowed and tilted her head, peering into the passenger side.
"Sir?"
Billy leaned in, something strange and alert in his face. The look made her want to run, made her want to lean in and comfort him somehow.
He took the cigarette from his mouth, letting it dangle between two fingers on the steering wheel. "Get in."
Beth felt her stomach twist. "I...No, thanks, I don't live that far," she said, taking a step back on the sidewalk.
He slipped his sunglasses off and stared at her. "Get in."
"Honest, I'm fine, Sir."
"Beth," her name sounded foreign on his lips. "Get in. C'mon, I ain't gonna kill ya. Jus' get in."
She approached the car warily and slipped her purse off her arm. She opened the door and slid into the seat, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She snapped the seatbelt on hurriedly. Billy tucked the cigarette back between his lips, tugged his sunglasses back on and roared away from the sidewalk, music blaring still from the c.d. player.
He glanced at her as he drove, his eyes guarded, shielded from her by the sunglasses. Beth picked at the strap of her purse, her stomach twisting and dropping as they made their way across town.
"Sir..."
Billy flicked his cigarette out the window. "Billy," he muttered.
"Pardon?"
He turned a corner, off the main road then. "None o' that 'Sir' shit. Billy's fine."
She blinked. "Uh, ok, Si- um, B-Billy, where are we goin'?"
"Office," Billy pitched the rest of the cigarette in the ashtray, exhaling a plume of smoke near the window. "Know what I mean?"
"Yessir," she said. "I...yes, Billy," she corrected at his annoyed glance.
He grunted and slowed the car, stopping in front of a dilapidated building. Beth looked out the window, her breath catching. She shivered. The building looked haunted.
Billy cut the engine, the music shut off abruptly. Beth undid her seatbelt and got out of the car, clutching her purse in both hands. "Billy, are you real sure you want me here? I..."
He got out of the car, a briefcase in his hand. Beth shivered again. Billy nodded to the stairs. "C'mon," he strode past her, his long legs covering the distance in a few seconds.
Beth bit her lip, following behind him. She went up the cracked cement steps, the metal doors clanging shut behind them. She followed him blindly, their footsteps echoing through the abandoned asylum. The rooms were filthy with disuse, the wood rotting in some areas, the windows cracked and broken in many different panes. She darted a quick glance to his hand, noting the grimy cloth that was knotted around it.
Billy led her up the stairs, each one creaking under the weight of their feet. He stopped in one doorway, muted red light spilling out, dimly illuminating him. Beth kept her eyes on the ground as she moved and gasped when she bumped into him.
"S-sorry."
He turned away, the corners of his mouth lifting the smallest bit in acknowledgement. "S' fine," he gestured to the room. "In here."
Beth stepped into the room. She looked up at the long windows, the red stained glass a marvel of reflective panes. "Oh..." she parted her lips, a breathy sound of surprise.
Billy set the briefcase down on the nearest chair. "Like it?"
"It's beautiful. Eerily beautiful," she murmured. "This is your office, hm?"
"Uh huh," he nodded. He sat down on the other chair and shrugged his long, black coat off. "S' quiet here, no one else, y' know?"
"Yes," she touched one pane, a smear of dust on her thumb. She looked over at him, her stomach flipping anew. She wiped her thumb off on her jeans and walked over to where the chairs were scattered, not far from the altar and pews of the chapel.
Billy opened the suitcase with his good hand. He bit back a cringe, his other hand paining him still. Beth sat on the chair across from him. She set her purse on the ground, watching him with much intrigue.
"You found that?" she asked.
"Y' could say that."
She swallowed the reflexive annoyance. "You mean you stole it."
He pushed his sunglasses off and glared at her. "What's the difference?"
"The fact that you don't see a difference, good Lord," she sat back in the chair, her initial panic fading. "There's a big difference, Billy. Stealing, it's not ok."
"I don't need no lectures, thanks very fucking much," he snapped
Beth opened her purse, pulling out a clean handkerchief. "Calm down, will you? You've already hurt your hand today as it is. Let me see it."
"No!"
She moved off the chair and knelt down near him. She rested her hand to his arm carefully. "Yes, c'mon now, you know I won't hurt you, so there's no reason to freak, right?" she coaxed.
He hesitated, his arm tensed under her light touch. "Yeah..." he said, holding his hand closer, “I guess."
"Right," she undid the knot near his wrist and unraveled the cloth. "Oh Billy," she whispered. "Oh god, I knew I should have cleaned this when it happened!"
Billy uncurled his fingers reluctantly. "It ain't that bad."
She sucked in a breath and looked his hand over. The cuts were mostly shallow, a few deeper ones near the sides of his fingers, the skin around them an angry red. "Shit...I don't have anything with me..." she bit her lip, "Does the building have clean water still running at least?"
"Maybe," Billy shrugged.
Beth let go of his hand and stood up. "Where? Which room?"
"Used t' be a bathroom near the end o' the hallway," he said, his attention on the briefcase once more.
She hurried from the room and walked down the hall, finding the bathroom. She wrinkled her nose at the smell and spun the knobs to the taps. To her relief, cold water came sputtering out. She wet the cloth and wrung it out. Beth took a step back, looking around the room. She spotted a metal pail under one of the sinks and scooped it up, rinsing it out. She refilled the pail with more water and carried it back to the chapel with her, determined to help him no matter what.
X
Billy sifted through the paperwork that was in the briefcase. He opened the leather wallet, flipping through the sleeves with little interest. He counted the bills inside before closing it. He let his eyes shut, bitter tears prickling under his eyelids. He sniffled quietly and swallowed over the lump in his throat.
"Billy?" Beth set the pail on the floor by him. "Let me see your hand."
He opened his eyes, startled. "I said I was fine!"
"And I say you need a good smack upside your head!" she knelt down; her brown eyes alight with indignant anger. "Stop bein' Mr. Tough Guy an' let me see."
Billy's nostrils flared. "You watch y' self...ah fuck!" he swore, the cold water stinging his cuts, "Stop!"
Beth pressed the cloth down firmly. "No. It needs to be cleaned."
"You're pushin' your luck with me," he fumed.
"Pfft, if you wanted to kill me, you would have," she shot back. "Now shut up an' let me do this! I don't even have the proper things to do it all so water will be it for now. Besides, who else is gonna clean an' look after your ass, if not me, huh?"
Billy grumbled under his breath, but he let her tend to him. She washed his hand as best she could before wrapping the wet cloth around the wounds.
"That'll do for now," she said, her thumbs massaging his palm.
Billy tensed up, his eyes guarded. "Shh," she said, keeping the touch light. "It's ok, me an' you here, no one to see this."
He let out the smallest of sighs, his eyes half closed. "I taught 'im everythin'," he said after a moment, his voice catching. "I...didn't do enough. I lost 'im, he's...m' brother an' he's gone. I wanna, I wanna fucking kill that guy, I wanna fuckin' destroy him."
Beth slipped her thumbs further, massaging his wrist. "Billy," she whispered. "I bet you he feels the same way. You took his boy, he took Joe. So where does it end?"
Billy closed his eyes, sniffing harder. "Don't do that, don't..."
"Don't what? Make you see what you did? Billy...you can't be like this forever. You wanna be like Bones someday?"
"I'm nothin' like him! I'm better!"
Beth pressed her lips together. "Not like this, you aren't."
Billy shook his head. "The fuck do you know?"
"I know you're gonna die like this, fightin' for somethin' stupid, something pointless," she moved up his arm slowly, her thumbs tracing the black swirls that decorated his lower arms. His skin was smooth and somewhat pale, a contrast to the black of his tattoos. "I know it's gonna be a waste."
He tugged his arm back. "Don't," he hissed. "I hate it, don't do it!"
"But you'll have sex with any girl into next week so long as she never touches you gently?"
He sneered at her. "Jealous?"
"Hardly," she said, though her face felt warm. "A mindless, empty fuck isn't my style."
"Yeah well once with me is all it takes t' keep 'em comin' back for more."
Beth snorted softly, "Charming."
"Never heard too many complainin'," he tugged his sleeves down further, covering his skin. He grabbed the wallet and opened it again, blinking fast.
"So, what, you're gonna kill this man?" she got up and sat on her chair, letting her hair down from its clasp, "Then what?"
"Kill his fuckin' family," he spat. Tears gleamed in his cold blue eyes for a moment.
Beth inhaled sharply. "And then what?"
"What?"
"And then what?" she pressed. "What happens after you kill them?"
Billy slapped the wallet down with a thud. "Then I have a fucking drink," he drawled.
"And that'll make you happy?"
He frowned. "Who said anythin' about bein' happy?"
"Exactly," she looked to the stained glass window, the dim red surrounding them. "You won't be happy." She shuddered. The room was bathed in blood, she thought vaguely.
"So?"
"So, everything! Don't you get it? This, this revenge will bring you nothing, Billy. Nothing. It won't bring Joe back. It won't make you happy, so why bother?"
Billy closed the briefcase and pushed it off to the side. "Cause I wanna hurt 'im," he said several minutes later. "I don't expect ya t' understand that."
"But you started it," Beth folded her hands on her lap primly. The way he was staring at her, so primal… She bit down on the inside of her cheek, at once frightened and intrigued.
Billy flicked his gaze over her. "He never shoulda touched Joe."
"You did this, you caused this, and all you can think of is how to hurt the man that you hurt first. Jesus, I feel sick," Beth gestured to the room. "Why am I here?"
"I want ya here, that's why. I pay your check, you do as I say," he snapped. "When I say jump, you fuckin' do it."
Beth stood up, knocking the chair back down. "I don't need this job. You can get any slave to do your cleaning, but I'm done, do you hear me? I'm fucking done with you an' the rest of your gang bangers!"
Billy was up before she could blink, looming over her, his eyes sparking with white hot anger. "You ain't leavin', not till I say! You work for me, no one else, understand?" he grabbed her arms, holding her tightly.
"I...I work for who I want," she managed to say, fear and anger flooding her. "You don't own me. Now...Now let me go, B-Billy."
"Not till y' agree to stay," he demanded, tugging her closer against him.
"Let go!" she struggled in his grip. "Get offa me! I'm not yours, I'll never be yours, damn you!"
He swore fluidly, stumbling a bit to the side. "Beth, knock it off!" he shouted.
She tugged her hand loose and slapped him as hard as she could. Billy's head snapped to the side, her handprint outlining his cheek. He stilled, staring at her in stunned silence.
Beth gasped, horrified. "Oh god...Billy, I...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."
He swallowed, his skin stinging. Beth raised her hand up, ignoring his flinch. She cupped his cheek gently, stroking the reddened skin.
"Don't..." he choked out, his voice a strained rasp.
"I'm sorry, Billy, I never meant to hit you, I'm so sorry," she whispered, struggling to keep the tears back. "I'm..."
Billy turned his head into the gentle stroke of her fingers, a sound catching in his throat. "Don't..." he said even as he loosened his grip on her other arm, his voice uneven, “I can't..."
Beth held onto him, guilt flooding through her as fast as the simmering anger. He let his eyes drift shut and he leaned down to her, brushing his lips over hers with the lightest of kisses.
X
